Pacifics Announce “Alternative Facts Night”
Hugest Crowd In History of Sports Expected
San Rafael, CA – In a stunning Thursday morning Tweet storm, San Rafael Pacifics Media Director, Greg Mroz, simultaneously announced the Pacifics long-planned “Alternative Facts Night” on August 4th against the Sonoma Stompers and accused a former Pacifics executive, now a member of an unnamed team’s front office staff, of wiretapping the Pacifics global headquarters to learn of the Pacifics plans to make real news by celebrating fake news.
“How low has [REDACTED] and the [REDACTED] club gone to tapp our phones to steal our “Alternative Facts Night” idea,” began the Mroz tweet. “Worse than Watergate. He’s a bad (or sick) guy!”
[REDACTED] is the former Pacifics Media Director and the current [REDACTED] for the Class [REDACTED] [REDACTED] club of the [REDACTED] League.
Standing before the largest gathering of reporters ever amassed, Mroz proudly pointed to a 3-foot high stack of papers he alleged were the Pacifics marketing plans for the event and set forth the detailed internal decision-making timeline to prove the idea originated with the Pacifics.
“We came up with the idea first. That’s the truth. It cannot be questioned.”
[REDACTED] was contacted for a response but declined comment citing national and personal security concerns.
After receiving the [REDACTED] press release announcing their version of “Alternative Facts Night”, Mroz launched a media blitz to demonstrate that the Pacifics had the idea first. He pointed out some of the team’s long-conceived plans for the event:
· • From 3 to 5 million people have already purchased tickets for the game but seats in the 1,000-seat capacity historic ballpark are still available. Mexico has agreed to pay for a new grandstand structure
· • The game will feature a “Salute to Russian Democracy”. Months ago, the Russian President agreed to participate in (and will win) the mascot race (unopposed)!
· • The team’s online ticketing system requires fans to scan their birth certificates before a ticket can be issued. Anyone with a Hawaiian birth certificate will be refused admission
For more information about the Pacifics host family program or season tickets please contact us at pacificsbaseball.com or by phone at 415-485-1563.